hidup perlu diteruskan...

da dua minggu...

awk, sihat tak? sy kat sini sihat2 je. at least physically. oh, but that doesn't mean emotionally i'm not ok. i think i'm ok inside too. utk sesorang yang baru putus cinta ( hahahaha! dulu mati-matian tak kan mengaku bercinta), sy rase sy masih lagi waras. 

sebenarnye, smp sekarang sy tatau ape da jd sebenarnye. setiap hari, no matter how busy i made myself be, akan ada saat2 yang sy akan terpikir tentang awk, dan terpikir, " what went wrong?".." what did i do wrong?", sy yang berubah ke awk yang berubah? kenapa awk decide nak tinggalkan sy, at times sy da berazam utk menjadi lebih baik, dan berusaha bersungguh2 nk paham awk? SHOULDN'T I BE THE ONE DUMPING U???? hohoho... maybe tu antara sebab sy still bengang. hehehe... typical me.

sy benci menyalahkan diri sy setiap hari. sy tau sy tak sempurna, but u are not that awesome either. you are nice, fun, smart, confident, but that doesn't give you any right to break me as such. so much for being honest with each other eh? i am honest, to the best level i could. but u, on the other hand, a real poser. u said u hid things from my knowledge to avoid my heartache, but i can't help feeling that u are just hiding it to avoid being guilty. FOOLISH ME, kn? 

all the while, i've told you, bercintalah secara sederhana. we never know whats gonna happen in the future. but nooooooo....you, being you, always want things to be extravagant. now, every time my parents start asking how you are living and doing there, seeing how they are worried about you makes me really sad and angry, and very disappointed, not to you, but to myself, for letting someone as selfish as you are near my family. somehow, deep down, i knew, once u there, you'll dump me once you get the opportunity. my instinct rarely fails me. 

but being angry and sad wont make thing better for me. kn? therefore, now, i choose to let you go.

i do not wish to let you affect my life anymore. for the sake of our good memories, i'll simply believe all your excuses and will always be praying for your health, happiness and safety.

Please, badrul muneer mohamad, no matter what you do, or where you are, take care of yourself nicely k? 

may you find what you are looking for. jaga solat, jaga amalan, jaga makan, jaga kesihatan awk k?

jaga hubungan dengan Allah SWT, dan jaga hubungan sesama manusia juga...

jujurlah pada diri sdr k? jgn pendam2 perasaan tu. kalau sedih, kalau marah... lepaskan je. simpan mende2 negative ni sorang2, xnk share ngn sesape boleh jd sakit tau x? thats why you are this miserable.

don't hurt another person like you did to me. sbb sakitnye, masyaAllah... jgn citer la. 

it's ok for me to live without you, as long as i know you are happy, and healthy. 

we will meet again someday. and when we do, hopefully, things will be better and we could laugh together at our stupidity. insyaAllah. =)

kuasa tu amanah yang berat nak pikul

dunia sekarang ni, merata2 nmpak orang gila kuasa. gila pangkat, gila harta.

sebabkan kuasa, pangkat dan harta, sanggup ketepikan harga diri, jual maruah, berpaling dari prinsip.

paling sedih.. kerana mengejar kebendaan, agama jadi mainan, saudara-mara berpatah arang.

well, itu isu yg terlalu berat. saya nk cakap pasal perkara yang ringan2 sahaja. sebab orang kita, terutama melayu ni, malas bebenor nak pikir. cakap perkara mudah2 sahaja, harap2 senang terima.

sesuatu organisasi, mesti kena ada ketua, betol tak? ketua tu menentukan haluannya.

kalau masa sekolah dulu, nak jadi AJK tertinggi rumah sukan pun kena undi. tak kesah la kau cantik ke, popular ke, rajin ke, malas ke, pandai bersukan atau tak.masa kat CBN dulu, nk jadi prefect pun.. fuh bertapis-tapis prosesnye. kne interview dgn prefects board, then dengan guru disiplin and the geng. abes sume rekod ditilik, dibelek, ditengok satu2. jatuh gred dari A ke B pun boleh kne tanya macam la ada wat plan nak bom sekolah .then, kalau da lepas semua tu, kena pulak berkempen. tang tu student pulak kritik. antara komen-komen yang boleh dengar, " eh, si gedik ni pown boleh jadi calon prefect?", " i xnk undi dia sebab i rasa i lagi layak jd prefect berbanding dia", " ala, ni mesti menang, sebab dia kan femes ngn netball/cheerleading/hoki/band", "alahai, lembutnye suara, boleh ke nk control student macam ni??", " owh!!! kak***** sangat comel!! nak vote dia lah!" " i nk vote so-and-so sebab i suka poster dia"... ~ yes, macam2 ragam. tapi, kena paham, kuasa itu di tangan orang yang mengundi. kalau student vote, then kne la terima tanggungjawab tu. da usaha sedaya mungkin. itu masa sekolah... masa naif lagi. 

bila masuk universiti, berbeza pula caranya. ada yang masih mengamalkan demokrasi sepenuhnya mcm tu. ada yang dipilih. tak kesahlah. sebab akhirnya, bila sahaja kita terima tanggungjawab tu, atas apa niat dan sebab sekali pun, hakikatnya, kita da setuju untuk menjalankan amanah tu. hehehehe.. tapi yang kelakarnye, bile kt universiti ni, rase2nye, cara pemilihan ketua lagi pelik dari zaman sekolah. ada yg tak reti wat keje tapi nk jd ketua, ada yg sgt berkaliber, tapi bermati-matian xmo pegang jawatan. ada yang berkebolehan, sanggup terima amanah, tapi tak tau balancekan dengan study. entah la... 

beratnya amanah ni kan... kadang2, masa dok tunding jari kt ketua, menyalahkan ketua, xde pulak nk pikir sume ni. bila sdr jd ketua, baru la tau.

tp, seharusnya, sebagai ketua, kita kne la selalu muhasabah diri. biarpun kita ada kuasa, xbermakna kita boleh wat sesuka hati, kan? 

kalau orang tegur, dengar, analyse, bertimbangkan. orang tegur sebab nk kita berjaya. nk bantu kita.

kalau rasa tak mampu nak tanggung sorang2, rujuk la pada orang2 yang lebih arif. jangan jadi bodoh xbleh nk diajar. sedar kapasiti kita, pada masa yang sama, usaha untuk tingkatkan lagi keupayaan sebagai ketua.

huhuhu... berat2. tapi orang yang ingin berjaya pastinya akan diuji. kita usaha je lah. 

with great power, comes great responsibility~ quote dr cte spiderman, kot =P~ 

hey, are u ok?

kadang2... terase macam kalau hidup sorang2 lagi bagus, dr hidup berkelompok.
sendiri, nk wat ape pown ikut ske ati kite la. xyah peduli ape pendapat org len, ape perasaan org len, ape implikasi perbuatan kita pada org lain. SELFISHNESS, best kn?

tp smp bila kite tegar nk hidup mcm tu? betol ke kita x perlukan org lain? yakin? anda pasti?

hakikatnye, fitrah manusia dijadikan hidup berpasangan. sifat kita nk hidup beramai2. susah senang tanggung bersama. berkeluarga, bersahabat. sbb kita ni bukannye sempurna. tp kita boleh mencari kesempurnaan hidup melalui perhubungan sesama manusia, da yg pastinya dengan menjaga hubungan dengan Yang Maha Esa. kedua2nya kene balance ye..

JANGANLAH ZALIM PADA DIRI SENDIRI.

well, masing2 ada cara hidup tersendiri. maka carilah jalan yg terbaik utk diikuti. semoga jalan itu menuju ke jalan yang satu, jalan yg diredhai-Nya.

bile terlampau sedih, tahap petala kelapan nye sedih, sy mmg xdapat nk luahkn (walaupun sy sgt ske bercakap and membebel). sbb takut jd makin lemah semangat. jangan harap la nk kol ma atau abah and starts crying. i'd rather be silence than make them worry. tau x kenapa? sbb sy sayang ma abah sy. simpan je semua. try make things as normal as possible. smp roommate pown xdpt detect pape... tp time2 ni la rse beruntung sgt ade kawan2 sejati. sbb, ble walaupun sorang tanye, " hey, r u ok?", "mun ko ok ke x ni?" or " kak, ok ke?", terase beban yg tanggung sorang2 tu terangkat. biarpun xdapat nk luahkan.

but usually ble org yg rapat tnye camtu, mesti kite gtawnye ape masalah kite, kn? =)

beruntung lah orang2 yang hidupnya dipenuhi sahabat2 sejati.
sy selalu pesan kt diri sdr, biar x ramai kawan, asalkan yg ada sekarang ni semuanya yg terbaik. =)

dan pada mereka yg tak reti menghargai kawan, open your eyes. u are hurting yourself as much as you are hurting them. u may think u don't need them, but they might need you. and you are not there. as always. pity u.

des'ree you gotta be...

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry


You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day


Herald what your mother said
Reading the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My oh my, heh, hey


You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day


Don't ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can't stop it, if you try to
This time it's danger staring you in the face


Remember
Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
My oh my heh, hey, hey


You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day


You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day





motivating words... kan?
i think this is a nice way to start a first entry.